Schueller's; Golden Valley

Date/Time: September 1, 2006
12:30 PM
74 Degrees and Partly Cloudy

Mood: Burned Out

Attending Parties: Mark, Jeremy

The Order: Schueller's Club Sandwich

On the Side: Potato Chips & Coke (in a Can)

6 Out a 10

The Sandwich: This Sandwich was a Traditional (Double Stack, 1/4 cut with toothpicks). This samich was dissapointing. Schueller's actually puts together one of the better clubs in town and this sandwich did not do justice. The bread was an oridinary white in that weird bread/toast state. Hard to tell if it was the Chef or Toasters fault. The tomato and lettuce tasted good but were all over the place, squirting out the back, sides, front. You name it and the TL was coming out. Bacon was excellent (2 point increase). Mayo was suprisingly good. Akward and asymmetrical cut.

Outside the Sandwich: PICKEL....Spear. I asked the waitress to substitute chips for fries, yeah that didn't happen. I felt like George Costanza; I was the last to get a menu, last to get food, was never asked for a refill, No Coleslaw, and incorrect order, "She knew what she was doing!". The company was good. Discussed work related stuff, so it was a FREE lunch. The potato chips were good considering they were straight out of the bag.

In Short: Schueller's is better than that.

Club Sandwich Intermission

I would like to use this post as an apology to the CSR fans. I've been in a bit of a Club Sandwich funk of late and frequenting the same Club Sandwich joints, so there has not been a great opportunity to get my club sandwich fix. I apologize. In the mean time I would like to entertain you with a little CSR fact..........

The orgin of "Samich"

I spent this past weekend in Las Vegas swingin', drinkin' and tearin' it up, but it was our Flights Passenger that might have made the trip as good as it was. Let me elaborate....

"Bad Santa" starring Billy Bong Thorton and Brett Kelly is my inspiration for "Samich". Throughout the entire movie "The Kid" is insistent on "fixing" Santa a Samich, so thats where I got that from. Now back to Vegas. There was a kid on the flight who looked exactly like Brett Kelly. Not only was he on the flight to Vegas but also on the flight back. This created a small obsession between me and JKO and trying to get a picture of this KID. Not only did we get a picture but some video also. This was the Bigfoot sighting video too, you know when you don't want to point the camera too long cause you might startle the beast, so you pan back and forth. The greatest thing about all of this is that the KID LIVEs in Minnesota, or a surroding state. So if we're lucky we could see him again.

Lyles; Uptown, MN

Date/Time: May 5th, 2006
6:30 pm
75 Degrees and Sunny

Mood: Thirsty

Attending Parties: Tony, James, Treye, Miller

The Order: Club Sandwich

On the Side: Fries and a 12 oz. High Life

5 Out a 10

The Sandwich: This Sandwich was a Traditional (Double Stack, 1/4 cut with toothpicks). The Samich was Massive. This thing was built like the Titanic, ready for anything, but an Iceberg size mouth, LIKE MINE. For those of you who saw it....You know what I mean. The bread was ok, your typical white toasted. Lettuce & Tomato surprisingly good, this place is a little of a dive so fresh veggies are a treat. Bacon, OK. Cheese was the same as when I bought it from Cub. So far this Sangwich was par till I got to the Mayo. THIS shit was sour......?????? I ate through it, It wasn't revolting, but I will never forget the thought that went through my head (Spoiled Mayo?)

Outside the Sandwich: PICKEL.....Slices!!!! The fries were good, seasoning good, portion good (XL). Ketchup was distributed in a small plastic container with a top, Now I have had a lot of fries in life and even ranked my favorite mediums for ketchup, but this has got to be the worst. I would rather be at Applebees and experience that moment when you grab that disguised empty bottle of ketchup, where than you and your fellow appetites become forced to ration the little that is left. High Life really hit the spot. I started with a Honey Weiss, OK, but I really needed a cheap beer to feel at home. The Company was amusing, Treye and Tony were on pace to shit faced and i was only 3 two 4 ones behind. The bar was as dark as a Bordello, outside was as bright as sunshine, somehow we chose not to hangout on a porch.

In Short: eh.......

Diamonds; Ramsey, MN

Date/Time: April 27th, 2006
7:00 PM
71 Degrees and Sunny

Mood: Drunk

Attending Parties: Shiah, Joey, Miller, Davin, Ben, Stephanie, Dylan, Eric.

The Order: Grilled Club Sandwich

On the Side: Onion Rings, 16 oz. HoneyWiess

8 out of 10

The Sandwich: The sandwich was a melt (single stack, toasted on the grill). This Samich had a lot going for it, but the best part by far was the bread. It was a thick Texas white bread, butter and toasted like Kramer on a Rooftop. The tomato and lettuce were at par. There was only turkey, no Pig, so it loses a point there (no questions asked). The turkey was very good and a thick portion of it, but you need that T n' H combo to be a great sandwich. The most interesting part of this sanwich was mayo in a cup on the side????? I didn't know how to approach the situation, so I ignored it. No dip, No spread, No taste, as far as Im concerned Mayo goes in the sandwich not a spectators seat.

Outside the Sandwich: Pickle!! The onion rings were so good I am actually thinking about starting the Onion Ring Review just to tell the world about 'um. The honey weiss was good, I think, I was pretty drunk. That brings me to my next point this review was made under excessive alochol influence. The company couldn't have been better, Silky was back in town to get in on a club sandwich with his fellow commish. Hung out with some other old friends who will never read this, so lets move on.

In Short: Yeah, I'll have another

Preston's; Minneapolis, MN

Date/Time: April 15th, 2006
6:30 PM
81 Degrees and Sunny

Mood: Jazzed

Attending Parties: Tony and Ben

The Order: Preston's Club Sandwich

On the Side: Pitcher of Miller Lite and Fries

9 out a 10

The Sandwich: This Sandwich was a Traditional (Double Stack, 1/4 cut with toothpicks). This Samich was terrific. As soon as I saw it walking towards me from the resturant I knew I was in for a treat. The bread was whole grain toasted to perfection. It wasn't too toasted to scar the roof of my mouth but not under done where it was merely a warm piece of bread (similar to the Major's incident of 06'). The Ham and Turkey pile was excellent. 4 thin layers of smoked turkey and honey ham. The lettuce was good. It didn't taste that fresh but wasn't bad. The lettuce acted as a texture more than anything. Two kinds of cheese; Chedder on the bottom deck and Provolone on the top deck. It wasn't mind blowing cheese but it got the job done. The mayo spread was more on the thick side. That usually makes me skyptical but I don't know if I was just in the mood for some thick Mayo cause that entered my Top 3 Mayo Experiences. The Bacon was terrific; crispy, juicy, delicious. The Tomato was what really did it for this sandwich. There was two slices of Mato on each deck, "I'd say thats a pretty damn good ratio"

Outside the Sandwich: Pickle!! and an orange slice that was a pleasant surprise. The Fries were terrible. I can't remember the last time I had such soggy, mushy, piece of shit fries, but there was a magical seasoning that made them ediable. The pitcher of beer was an excellent complement, too bad it was Miller Lite. The company was soild as usual and the cute waitress is always nice. Eating out on the patio made it feel more picnic style (great for sandwich eating). I could have used a little less wind and a little more sun.

In Short: This Sandwich Kicked Ass!!

Major's; Albertville, MN

Date/Time: March 22, 2006
1230 pm
38 degrees and Sunny

Mood: Business

Attending Parties: Michele, Chad, Dan, Steve and Nancy

The Order: Major's Clubhouse; Ham, Turkey, Lettuce, Tomato, Mayo, Provolone, Cheddar, Pepper Smoked Bacon, on Sourdough Bread.

On the Side: Garlic Steamed Vegetables and a Coke

4 out a 10

The Sandwich: This sandwich was a Melt (single stack, cut 1/2 diagonaly and warmed). On the menu this samich had everything going for it. It was a hot sandwich on sourdough, How could you go wrong? Well this Sandwich did......I would have been better off ordering a Hot Ham n' cheese. This Samich was stack with Turkey and Ham, I mean STACKED. I was having a difficult time getting my jaw opened wide enough to bit into the bitch. A triple cheese burger had nothin' on this stack. With the overwhelming deli meat was very little tomato and lettuce. One slice of Tomato is not enough for this guy and Rule #76 in Samich making "Put Lettuce on after you melted the sandwich". Heated up lettuce is the next worse thing to sour peanut butter. I will give this Sandwich some credit because the two cheese combo (Provolone on top, Chedder on bottom) was delish. The Sourdough was excellent but the Mayo spread was uneven. Heavy on one side light on the other.

Outside the Sandwich: PICKLE (A poor attempt at a pickle too), The vegetables were awsome. I don't think I even took a breath while eating them. Coke was Coke, eh. The company was Ok, it was a business lunch. The convo was pretty boring with work related stuff, so it gave me time to really take the Samich in. The waitress was some 16 year old trailer trash with ink as far as the sleeves could show.

In Short: This Sandwich Sucked. Do not get the Major's Clubsandwich EVER!

TGI Fridays; St. Louis Park, MN

Date/Time: March 10th, 2006
1230 pm
55 degrees and Sunny

Mood: Upbeat

Attending Parties: Tony and Ben

The Order: FRIDAY'S® CLUB Ham, mesquite-smoked turkey, American cheese, bacon, lettuce, tomato and mayonnaise on wheatnut bread.

On the Side: Fries and a 16 oz. Bud Light

7 out of 10

The Sandwich: This Club Sandwich was a Traditional (3 slices of bread, 1/4 cut w/toothpicks), that hit on somethings and missed on others. The Lettuce was fantastic; crisp, clean, green and extended beyond the crust of the bread. Mayo was the perfect amount and spreaded evenly across. Bacon was at par, it didn't try to dominate the sandwich and be a BLT but i forgot about half way through the consumption. The Ham and Turkey were great, probably the best part of the sandwich. It was tasty, juicy, and perfect amount to complement the rest of the Club. Where the Club lost it was the bread and tomato. The Wheatnut Bread was amazingly delish, but not toasted. I favor toast on the Traditional Club because with all the fillings it holds the sandwich together better. Also toast proves that the chef put that little extra into the Club. I am a huge Tomato fan and they skimped on it. There was one Tomato cut 4 ways, there is no way to be able to distribute that delicious vegetable into every bite. The Cheese was mediocre, to be honest with you i forgot it was even on there.

Outside the Sandwich: NO PICKLE. The Fries were heavly seasoned, the "want fries with that seasoning" joke was cracked. At first i was not liking the seasoning, but by the end I realized it saved the sandwich. When I am eating the Season caked fries, that seasoning stays in your palet so when you take your next bit of Samich it is a seasoned bit. That is great if you Sandwich is lacky flavor like mine was. The Bud Light was also amazing and enriched that Club further. Tony and Miller were excellent company. They kept the conversation flowing allowing me time to eat the Samich and chime in where a remark or question was needed. Lydia, the Waitress, was gothic cute and never made us feel rushed. The occasional flirt always makes my Sandwich taste better.

In Short: It was the factors outside this sandwich that is giving it a passing grade. Did I mention no pickle.

The Club Sandwich Review

Welcome to the CSR. A place where you read the opinion of the Club Sandwich connoisseur, who is well educated in the art of deli meat, veggies, and sliced bread. I will write a review of each club sandwich I have eaten here in the TC and all over the world. This blog will act as a journal of my quest to find the Greatest Club Sandwich on Earth. I have created a set of guidelines to better define my Review.........

1. The defenition of a Club Sandwich: A sandwich composed of two or three slices of bread with a filling of various meats, tomato, lettuce, and dressing.
2. I will define the type of Club Sandwich, examples; Traditional, Double Decker, Melt, Combination.
3. No two Club Sandwiches are the same. I will be reviewing based on individual sandwich and not resturant/chef. Meaning I can review Perkin's Club Sandwich as many times as I have eaten the Perkin's Club Sandwich.
4. I will consider the factors that are outside the Club Sandwich. For example; Time of Day, Mood, Alcohol consumption, and the Attending Parties.

My review is a working progress. I am aware there are unforseen discrepency in the future, so I will do my best to keep as consistent as I can. Thank You for your interest and I hope this information will help you when your in a time of need.